RISC World

The Hugh Jampton Experience

Yes its the new disimproved Hugh Jampton column with the less is more guarantee...

My guarantee to you is that all future Hugh Jampton columns will be error free. Was last issues column error free? Well that's a very good question, it was certainly error free when it left here. (Actually it was incomplete, which is why it had errors in - ED) However by the time the last issue had been dutifully knackered by an inexperienced editor (watch it - ED) it was a mess, so let me apologise. Still look on the bright side, it was still error free, well the errors were all free! Still I suppose you can't expect much more, after all RISC World does employ the best brains that low wages can buy.

Last issues caption competition

So last issue I ran a picture, which very few people could see....

But this time you can, however some clever sparks still managed to send in some captions...

"Microsoft - cutting-edge technology."
"The latest US invasion force sets sail."
"It's full pollution ahead for Microsoft."
"Bill Gates' latest tool to surf the net."
and, because someone forgot to convert the sprite to a GIF ...
"I'm sure I left it here somewhere...."What?", "No, it's not called the Mary Celeste!"

All the above were sent in by Brian. However we have one clear winner this time, firstly for not seeing the picture and secondly for going and finding it! Oh and thirdly for making a caption that fitted the picture and the cock-up.

"How are we expected to see the iceberg when we can't even see the pic?"
Geoff Potter

So well done to Geoff and now a change of mood.

Hugh's letters corner

And now a new feature for the Hugh Jampton experience, letters!

Hi Hugh!
I noticed that you mention in this months issue that you only got one entry for the caption competition. What happened to mine? I definitely sent one in. Perhaps someone has forgotten to pass it on? Maybe a mysterious black hole opened up and swallowed all the other entries? I would enter this months, but some of the images seem to be broken on your page, including the caption compo...Mmm...Mysterious things abound, methinks...
William McNee

Well I never saw it guv, I only got one entry forwarded to me so I published it, out of interest what was your entry? I suggest you have another go this issue, and if you do send an entry in I promise to publish it (provided it's clean enough). Now it's that merry antipodean Alan Shooter...

I hope someone gets a copy of the picture as mine is just the jpeg icon. The last competition picture has shown ok but the 4 are just jpeg icons. We then get the adverts for PlayStation and Lidl, what ever that is, ok but the next 3 are just jpeg icons. Maybe the 50 will have to be put up as the prize for this one just being able to spot the picture!!!!
Alan Shooter

LiDL is a chain of food shops, as is Iceland, hence the old advertising slogan "That's why mums gone to Sainsburys". I suppose we could have a guess the picture competition, I will have to think of a way of doing it so that it isn't too easy, how about guessing what picture I am thinking of now? Actually perhaps that isn't a good idea.

This issues photo

So can anyone come up with a caption for this?

Send your entries to and we will print those that turn up, and won't offend anyone, well anyone important anyway.

So lets's crack on with the space filling, here is this issue collection of photos lovingly swiped from the internet.

Yes RISC OS does run better without Windows. AS this chap will testify.

We have been hearing rumours about a new RISCStation laptop...

And it seems that Stuart Tyrell has released his multimedia keyboard driver for download...

...some people nearly got crushed in the rush...

At least they hadn't queued to get their money out...

Mind you is it worth using banks when this man's about?

And like all good news programs we will finish off with a cute animal photo.

Hugh Jampton