RISC World

The Hugh Jampton Experience

Standing proud for the downtrodden's...Hedge Jumpedon

Thanks you...thank're too kind, in accepting this award I feel it's only fair to thank my mother, father, brother and...oh, no award? Oh well, I suppose that means it must be time for Hugh's Caption Conundrum!

The caption competition

Last issue we published the following and asked our keen eyed readers to come up with a suitable caption...

So what was in my mail box this time?

"I thought you said Bach"
Alan Dawes

"My, that's a good face lift Rod. (Stewart)"
Alan Shooter

"I was doing this Office Works course & my I.T. instructor told me I needed to practice my keyboard skills"
Chris Newman

"Is this music badly printed or do I need glasses?"
Chris Newman

"I refuse to play "Kitten on the Keys"
Chris Newman

"It's Bach, silly. Not woof woof."
Laurence Simmonds

"It's woof woof, silly. Not Bach."
Laurence Simmonds

"It's the moonlight bone-ata"
Laurence Simmonds

"Don't shoot me, I'm the piano player!"
Laurence Simmonds

"The BBC announced cut backs in its music department earlier today."
Laurence Simmonds

"I can't really play the piano, Hugh Jampton made me do it!"
Laurence Simmonds

"You hum it, I'll play it."
Laurence Simmonds

"I prefer to stand, it's the only way I can reach the high notes."
Laurence Simmonds

"That dog is a real cool cat."
Laurence Simmonds

"And now some Bach (Bark)"
Matt Thompson

"I only do classical"
Harry Smith

However in the opinion of the judges there was only one entry that was destined to win...

"I've only started singing falsetto since the operation."
Chris Newman

So congratulations to Chris, absolutely nothing at all won't be winging it's way in the post.

Anyway keeping the doggy theme (based on the fact that I get more responses with cute animal pics) here is this issue's picture, can anyone think of a suitable caption?

Send your entries to and you too could become the envy of tramps everywhere.

Hugh's letterbox

Hello Hugh.
Hope you are good as our American friends might say. What about a competition on "Why I would like to win Hugh's caption competition".
Best regards
Harry Smith

What an excellent idea, so why don't we have two competitions this time, our usual caption competition and a second competition on why you would like to win the first competition. Points will be awarded for the silliest reason, so get writing! If we have enough entries then it will save me the effort of knocking out a column for the next issue, and I will still get paid! So email your entries to

Hugh's picture gallery

Moving quickly on lets see what other fun packed pictures have been e-mailed to me recently...

Firstly one for cat lovers.

And now many a true word said in jest...

It's no good I am going to have to put in another cat picture...

A logo you won't be seeing round here...

Although I can suggest the ideal OS to run on it..

That's all from me for this issue, see you again in May.

Hugh Jampton