RISC World

The Hugh Jampton Experience

With a song in his heart, and a credit note in his's....Hugh Jampton

Welcome to the first Hugh Jampton column of 2007 (everyone else has done this already, get on with it - ED). May I take this opportunity to wish you something or other and a thingy new whatsit. I have been conducting a customer facing survey to discover if there is anything that I could do to improve my wonderful column. And you know what, it's perfect already! Having conducted an extensive interview with the man in the bathroom mirror he confirmed what I already thought. There's nothing that can be done to make this any better. In fact it's the best column there is, absolutely, simply the best...better than all the rest...better than...

(The above paragraph has been cut short due to reasons of sanity. So, for the first time I will say it, here is the caption competition - ED)

The caption competition

....Simply the...sorry. Where was I, ah there I am, hold on I'll just go over and wake myself up...Oh...ah, that's better. Now then as usual its time for the (I've done this bit, please try to keep up - ED).

Right. Last issue, back in the bad old days of 2006 I published the following picture and asked for your suggested captions.

What great feats of linguistic creativity did you come up with?

"Wot, no rear view mirror?"
Vic Newman

"Is this an Intershitty 125?"
Kevin Simpson

"Railtrack profit warnings, crash imminent!"

So I am actually going to award the prize, and this time it's a complete, rare, beautifully framed, signed P45, to Aaron. That way I can get on with the rest of this column without any further interruptions (That's what you think - ED). So what photo can you all look at without bothering to send anything in this time? How about this one:

As always send your best, or even worst, attempts to

Hugh's letters bit

Before we have the silly pictures I ought to include this e-mail from Vic, our runner up this issue.

Hi Hugh,
I'm sending this again as you haven't acknowledged that you got it & my e-mails don't seem to be getting through. Aaron Timbrell & Dave Holden deny they are Hugh Jampton so I couldn't check with them if my e-mails were arriving.
Aaron said there might be a problem getting through so to keep trying. You now know who to blame. I'll keep bombarding you until:-
a) I get an acknowledgement
b) I lose the will to live
c) The world ends
whichever is the sooner.
Vic Newman

I love multiple choice, can I choose b?

So let's round this up then we can all go and do something more worthwhile.

Hugh's picture gallery

Now a news update for the simple minded

And now it's parking for beginners

How about a delicious snack?

The worlds first ground to air dog...

Right, I'm off for a nice bath...

That's it, you can get back to your own beds now.

Hugh Jampton