The Hugh Jampton Experience
If it aint broken down, he'll break it, if it ain't working, good luck, if it ain't insured, it's gonna be gone...cos his names Hugh Jampton...on...on
Do you know that I always have problems starting this column (perhaps some jump leads would help - ED) as I am never quite sure what I can say that won't get edited out before this column gets published. The other thing is that I have actually gone back and looked at my past columns and, although I couldn't be sure, I am starting to get the feeling that I am beginning to repeat myself...myself...myself...
Sorry about that, so in order to bring some life back to this column I am going to make a few changes (thank god - ED). However let's get the traditional caption competition out of the way.
The caption competition
If you could be bothered to read this column last time then you might have noticed this:
You might also have noticed that I asked for some captions to go with it:
As an aside I should mention that Andy said he was a big fan of this column, thanks. This is also the first time he has entered our competition. I can only assume that until recently he's had something worthwhile to do with his life, but he has some competition...
Bryan Page (Again)
Reg Southwell Part 2
Chris Newman (Rpt)
Chris Newman (another chance to see...)
Chris Newman (Omnibus edition)
Chris Newman (Classic episode)
Chris Newman (A viewers favourite)
Chris Newman (Now on DVD)
Chris Newman (Also shown at midnight on BBC 4)
Of particular note was Chris Newman's sterling efforts. Chris also said "I'm not doing it for the £10 voucher you understand but for the glory, the kudos, the immense satisfaction of appearing in your mag page". Which is a bit of luck because he didn't win.
In the end we (I) have decided that our winner will be Andy Brown. So Andy, you have won a £10 APDL software voucher. To claim your voucher just contact APDL (the details are in the contact section of this issue) and say "Hi, my name is Andy Brown and I've won a £10 software voucher in the RISCWorld caption competition." Then you can use the voucher to claim any software item that's
The £10 Caption Competition
So if you fancy an APDL software voucher all you have to do is send in your suggested caption for this:
As a reminder this competition is not open to APDL or RISCWorld employee's. My decision on who wins is final, so no arguments. If there is no winner than the prize will roll over to next issue, making it £11, (that's two 1's and we will ignore the extra zero to make it easier) Don't forget the voucher can be used against the purchase of any APDL, ProAction, Fourth Dimension or iSV Products software. The voucher can be used as full payment for any 1 software title up to £10 in value, or as part payment for any title over £10.
The intermittent letters corner will now be making a unwelcome return...
Hugh's letters corner
Thanks, that would have been a winning caption, but I never got it, which is a shame. However I do have your captions for last issues competition, but you haven't won. Still never mind you have been featured on the page, and that's the main thing.
For the one with the golf ball:
Having had another look at the picture it seems like you are right. The chap is using a putter. Mind you he has a mean old swing on it don't you think? I was recently told that China now has a policy of replacing badly translated road signs with "proper" English ready for the 2008 Olympics. This is a shame as the signs would keep the English team amused whilst waiting for the early flight home...
Moving swiftly on, one of our other readers has a different complaint...
Sorry about the confusion on the names front, still it was an easy mistake to make. Have you considered asking for your own e-mail address, or aren't you allowed one without a letter from your psychiatrist? As for getting plastered the last time I got plastered was doing some DIY...ha..ha...plastered...........oh have it your own way, here are some pretty pictures to cheer you up....
Hugh's picture gallery
Mirodigital MD David Atkins' neighbour sends him a subliminal message...
Now that's really what I call a crap car...
Fun things to do with money, part 34...
Blimey this kitten is a bit vicious...
Apparently Microsoft have some competition now...
Finally a message for all RISC OS developers...