RISC World

The Hugh Jampton Experience

There won't be a rhyme, as we don't have the time...

Well I didn't see that coming. What you may ask? Well the strange joining of Foundation RISC User and RISCWorld. I'm not sure about the name though and if any other magazines get joined in the name could start getting really silly ... does "Foundation RISCWorld Now Archive" suit anybody? No, I didn't think so. Still now that we seem to have some RISCOS Ltd people on-board I had better start behaving myself, or not, as the case may be.

As an aside did you know that unlike some publications, RISCWorld, sorry Foundation RISCWorld, only pays by the article and not the word. This gave me an idea to make writing this article easier, ending it now.

























Dah!!! That got you didnt it? No. Oh well I suspect that the truly dreadful and ever unpopular craption (I couldn't tell if this was a typo or not - ED) competition might drive you away...

The caption competition

You all now how it goes, so why not sing along..."Last time I published a picture, and asked you to write the caption, you need to use your brain, but only a tiny fraction."

Well I usually complain about the response, but thus time I have nothing to complain about, because nothing was submitted. Since I work my fingers to the skin on writing this column I would hope, nay expect, some form of response from readers (even if it's the two fingered variety? - ED). Still that's how things go so in order to fill up the space I asked various RISCWorld (Foundation RISCWorld - ED) contributors to write a quick caption...

"What do you mean you've filled it with lead!"

"David Ruck finally runs out of hot air"
Paul Brett (with apologies)

"Am I really paying £50 for this crap?"
Dave Holden

Hugh's Caption Competition

So with the misplaced confidence of youth lets see if anyone can come up with a suitable caption, and win a £20 software voucher, for this:

Send me your entries by the 14th of June and don't forget to read the following naughty small print...

The Small Print: The Foundation RISCWorld caption competition is open to all RISCWorld subscribers. The prize for each issue is a £10 software voucher. This voucher be used to purchase any product, from the APDL, ProAction or iSV Products software ranges, up to a value of £10. or can be used as part payment towards an item of greater value cost. Decisions are made at the discretion of the RISCWorld editorial staff and are final. If the voucher is not won then it can roll over to the next issue entirely at the discretion of APDL.

Hugh's Customer Service Award

Last time I picked on Castle Technology for having a broken website. OK, lets be honest, a website that hadn't worked for months. As I am sure you remember that problem seemed to be related to the shop system. It appeared as though Castle hadn't been keeping up with the payments. Well the people who matter must have been listening as something's finally been done about it. OK, the shop system still isn't working but at least now there is a message on each product page referring the viewer to It's just a shame that most of the products one might have wanted to buy from the Castle site aren't actually on

In the spirit of fair play this issues target for poor service was going to be RISCOS Ltd. The reason was the rather obvious lack of Foundation RISC User magazines being delivered to subscribers. I've been contacted by a couple of readers who haven't seen an issue for months. Indeed the last issue, number 18, appeared at some point last year. From what I've been told this was the only issue that appeared after Richard Hallas had left as editor. Not being a subscriber myself I can't be sure on the dates, but I suspect that it's getting close to a year since the last issue was actually delivered to those that had paid for it.

So I wrote a nicely subjective and carefully balanced article that "put the boot it", having now just been told by Aaron that the problem is being resolved by the merger, I've had to remove it and write some eleventh hour waffle to fill up the space in this article. So RISCOS Ltd narrowly escape an award by the skin of their teeth. If there is some RISC OS company you think needs a big kick up the arse to sort themselves out then why not drop me a line at Hugh's Customer Service Award and I shall be happy to investigate and then spill the beans...

Finally, on a lighter note; as they say at the end of the news...

Hugh's photo corner

Mobile phone manufacturers finally come up with yet another gadget to add to their phones:

However not all engineers are that clever...

As submitted by Chris Newman we have the ultimate in female body modification...

Now for those who have spent too long coding in HTML...

Scientists finally quantify the difference between male and female brains..

APDL open day a great success..

Worries over computer addiction in children unfounded claims expert..

And finally a use is discovered for second hand PCs..

If you have any complaints about this column then please take them elsewhere...

Hugh Jampton