RISC World

The Hugh Jampton Experience

Not a pretty article, but Foundation RISCWorld will buy this cheap crap...

Well, who would have thought it? (What, that you are still here? - ED). No, not that, although that is something that someone else might wonder about on those cold winter nights when the frost is laying heavy on the slopes of Katie Price. What I am referring to is the possibility of a free (or virtually free) version of RISC OS being released. As we all know every copy of RISC OS before now comes at a price. The possibility of being able to download a free version from a website and popping it into an emulator to run your favourite operating system on a number of machines sounds almost too good to be true. I, like a number of people am salivating at the thought of it, and indeed the thought of Katie Price.

We shall have to see what happens. I am fairly hopeful that an annoucement will be made at the forthcoming Arm Club Xmas show, but as I am having to write this a couple of weeks before hand we shall all have to wait and see...

So in the meantime why not tickle those little grey cells, or hair follicles, as they are normally called, with this issues high budget, low performance caption competition.

The caption competition

Last time I published this and asked all the members of the Foundation RISCWorld decrepit subscribers club to come up with a suitable caption:

Well, our response was piss poor, get it, ha ha

"The new Windows Pissta operating system - where do you want to go today?"
Geoff Potter

"Looks like the next version of Wee-ndows has passed beta testing"
William McNee

Meanwhile we also had these suggestions from Reg Southwell...

"So that is where all the p... comes from."

"A new source code?"

"Anything coming from Hugh is not to be sniffed at".

However, our clear winner, mainly because he wrote so many that they fill up most of this article is... ...Robin Barnard.

"Ahh look, even cute puppies turn thier backs on windows xp"

"no i said PRESS the P key..."

"my laptop went to the dogs, but even the dogs turned its back on it"

"my dogs reaction to the latest enforced software update"

"no no no, press ctrl alt and delete"

"eddie, get off frasiers laptop!"

"the latest microsoft replacement for mr paper clip still needs some work as users complain its larger than life..."

"now come on you've started the computer, there's no need to turn tail and start leaving"

He also went on to add...

"So okay - I know you'd rather put into lots of photos rather than write anything (perish the thought) - so with that in mind i'd thought i would at least pretend to try and make some captions for the caption competion, if only to avoid whatver else you might decide to put in its place.

Well done that man. Your prize is a lovely hand crafted and laser toner finished APDL £10 software voucher, redeamable on any Fabruary the 30th that you like!

So with that runaway response I am going to force you to have a try with this one:

Send me your entries by the 14th of January and don't forget to read the following naughty small print...

The Small Print: The Foundation RISCWorld caption competition is open to all Foundation RISCWorld subscribers. The prize for each issue is a £10 software voucher. This voucher be used to purchase any product, from the APDL, ProAction or iSV Products software ranges, up to a value of £10. or can be used as part payment towards an item of greater value cost. Decisions are made at the discretion of the Foundation RISCWorld editorial staff and are final. If the voucher is not won then it can roll over to the next issue entirely at the discretion of APDL.

Right, lets get the silly pictures over with then we can all go and do something useful.

Hugh's photo corner

Microwave manufacturer invents time machine...

Security guard mounts TV back to front...

It's good to talk...

If you can stand next to this sign while I take a photo...

Mind you it could be worse...

Finally, as they say in Derbyshire, "you a'right me duck?"...

All complaints about the Hugh Jampton column should be sent to the nearest idiot ta ta...

Hugh Jampton